Active listening in communication8/25/2023 So, for example, even though Susan may do her best to hear Steve’s complaints, the person he is whining about isn’t a spectator in their marriage – it’s her husband – and behind all those ‘I’ statements is her!” 9Ī 2016 study by a group of Iranian researchers looked at how good hospital managers were at active listening. The idea expects you to swim in a pool of emotional criticism next to Michael Phelps. The Institute writes: “Active listening requires Olympic-gold-medal-emotional performances. In a blog post from The Gottman Institute – a research-oriented organization aimed at helping relationships – active listening is listed as a “myth” in regard to its efficacy in helping relationships, claiming the research suggests that couples are still distressed after applying the technique. John Gottman, a Professor of Psychology at the University of Wisconsin and an influential relationship therapist, refutes active listening’s ability to help close relationships. Some in the counseling realm still have criticisms over the skill, however. With these communication strategies that have evolved from the domain of clinical psychology, it’s no surprise that active listening is predominantly associated with more interpersonal interactions. There is certainly a time and place where active listening is appropriate and a time and place where it isn’t. Of course, few proponents of active listening would suggest that the technique should be applied to all conversations and discussions. Moreover, many intellectual discussions would be limited in their scope if pure listening is prioritized over debating, challenging, and questioning a speaker. For example, collaborative and innovative environments may benefit from several of the 12 roadblocks to communication outlined by Thomas Gordon, such as logic and criticizing. It might be easy to imagine scenarios where active listening is probably not the best avenue to take. Gordon also later created a list of 12 roadblocks to communication that included many of the traditional strategies once thought to be crucial to helping people, such as advising and supporting. in 1970, 4 where his ideas became widely popularized as a form of modern parenting philosophy. Gordon went on to publish a book on the P.E.T. Thomas Gordon, a colleague of Rogers, promoted active listening as a communication skill through his Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.) program in 1962. More than that, we must convey to the speaker that we are seeing things from his point of view.” 3 Rogers and Farson claimed that people who are listened to in this “new and special way” in turn become more emotionally mature and less defensive as they are better able to listen to themselves and understand what they are feeling and thinking. In 1957, Carl Rogers and Richard Farson coined the term active listening, in a short book presenting the method as one that “requires that we get inside the speaker, that we grasp, from his point of view, just what it is he is communicating to us. 2 These techniques would later become barriers to active listening. Until then, helping people with their personal problems was believed to require asking probing questions, giving information, advising, judging, analyzing, and reassuring. They discovered that those who listened more than they talked were more effective. This inquiry, largely led by Carl Rogers and his colleagues in clinical psychology, endeavored to understand why some counselors were better than others at addressing their client’s personal problems. Active listening emerged from early 1940’s research into what made an effective counselor.
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